I Can See Up Your Nose

Maybe you're not aware of this, but a lot of the people in service and retail jobs aren't working their dream jobs or even the jobs they went to school for. For instance, I have a co-worker working on about three different degrees right now. Believe me when I say that working at Subway for the rest of her life is not a life goal. That being said, another of my co-workers was assisting a costumer when he said "I will make this real easy on you," and proceeded to treat her like she was an idiot. Finally she told him she was a college student. After the man got over his shock of a Subway girl making his sandwich also being a college student he asked her why she was working at a Subway. Her reply was simple: College costs money. Freakin' duh! Why customers come in and treat us like we chose a job where we catch shit all day is beyond me. If we didn't have bills and loans to pay like everyone else we'd be doing something entirely different with our lives. The economy sucks and it's hard to find jobs anywhere even after college. We are not on a lesser caliber because we are in the retail and service industry, we are working our tushies off to keep roofs over our heads and food on the table. We deserve more respect because we will work in an industry that society deems 'low class' to provide for ourselves and those that we love. You can shove your up-in-the-air nose into my store's ceiling vents. Having a cushy job obviously didn't improve your personality if you think treating us like morons or lesser beings is at all acceptable. 

One Cent Short of Full Jerk

Me: What's the problem?

Trainee: This guy wanted twenty dollars on four, but it only pumped 12.01.

Costumer: It's 12.00.

Me: Okay, just subtract that from twenty and pre-pay what's left onto the pump.

Trainee: Okay, I'll just pre-pay 7.99 onto the pump and you can pump the rest sir.

Customer: No, it only pumped 12.00. That's what the pump said.

Me: Sir, the register has it as 12.01. And I'm looking at the pump. It's 12.01.

Trainee: I can't get it to pre-pay...

(I check the pump)

Me: Sir, your going to have to hang up the pump in-order for us to pre-pay you. It keeps telling us it's in use.

Customer: Yeah, because it stopped when I wanted it to pump my gas!

Me: Sir, if you go out and hang it up, then wait a second or two for us to pre-pay, you can start pumping again.

(man goes out and pumps then proceeds to pay us an extra visit)

Customer: You might want to have your pumps checked because that pump said I pumped 12.00 and NOT 12.01.

Me: Sir, the person before you got 12.00 and they paid at the pump, so what you were seeing was theirs. I don't need to go check anything.

It was a penny. There are like ten in my change holder. Take one, but you can't buy manners with it.

4 Is Not After 5 Nor Before 3

Customer: I'd like ten on four.

Me: Okay, ten on four. Would that be all today?

Customer: That's four right? (points outside)

Me: The pump directly outside?

Customer: Yeah.

Me: No, that's pump five.

Customer: No, I'm pretty sure that's four. (points again)

Me: You mean on the other side of the one directly outside the doors?

Customer: Yeah.

Me: That's six.

Customer: No, I'm sure that's four.

I'll pre-pay you for four. But then you're going to have to drive to it.

This Argument Is Getting Old

I am coming back from stocking when I get to hear this little gem.

Co-worker: Ma'am I can't find anything out about you by just your birthdate. I could type your birthdate into the internet and it wouldn't find you.

Customer: Is that your manager.

Co-worker: Nope, that's my Shift Supervisor.

Customer: Well, I'd like to speak to her!

Me: What's the problem ma'am?

Customer: I'd like to know why I am being IDed for lottery tickets. I'm seventy years old!

Me: You have to be eighteen years or older to buy lot...

Customer: I know that! But why am I being IDed?

Me: Because it's something you need to be eighteen years or older to buy our registers need a birthdate to be entered to continue the transaction. I know, I can see your old enough, and I understand it's a pain but we hav...

Customer: What do you do with my date of birth?

Me: We just enter it so we can finish ringing you out.

Customer: But what do you do with it? Keep it so they can mess with my taxes for buying lottery tickets?

Me: Ma'am, your birthdate doesn't tell us or anyone anything about you.

Customer: We live in New York State. They can look everything up!

Me: Not with just your birthdate. They would still need a name. There are probably many people in this area alone with your very same birthdate. I promise they can't find you with only your birthdate.

Customer: Well I want to know why I am getting IDed! Is it the law or just something you're making up?

Me: It's law to ID for substances and such you need to be a certain age for. But IDing everyone or at least getting their birthdate if they are old enough is something our office is having us do.

Customer: Well I want their number.

Me: I'll give you the number for here and you can call back and talk to the manager. She'll help you.

Co-worker: Amanda, I asked for her birthdate. I didn't even ID her.

I figured it out. You are all paranoid. Watch out. The aliens are coming to beam you up.

Doomed By The Pink Hair

Me: Can I have ID please?

Customer: I don't have it.

Me: I'm sorry sir, but because you don't have your ID I can't sell you the beer.

Customer: Are you kidding? It's in the mail.

Me: I'm sorry.

Customer: Where's your manager.

Me: I'm the Shift Supervisor and I assure you you're not getting this beer.

Customer: But there is someone above you and I'd like to speak to them.

Me: My manager is not currently in.

Customer: Is someone above you in? They'll give me the beer.

Me: I'm sorry, but unfortunately they would not. Store policy states that no one, including a manager, can override the decision of a cashier to deny sale. And by law, if you look forty years of age or younger you have to have ID to buy beer. You don't look above forty.

I'm very sorry that the law doesn't recognize how awesome you are and makes special rules for you alone. Maybe if you didn't dye your hair a weird shade of pink, I could have maybe seen some grays and taken your date of birth. But by trying to be all hip, you doomed yourself to being IDed like the rest of the populace.

I Am The Card Genie

Customer: I'd like to get twenty in gas. (proceeds to hand me his A-plus card)

Me: I'm sorry sir, we don't accept A-plus cards here.

Customer: This is a Sunoco.

Me: Yes, but we do not take part in the A-plus program. We do the Advantage card.

Customer: I want to use this one!

Me: Well, we do not accept the A-plus sir. Do you have an advantage card?

Customer: What the hell is that?

Me: You have it on your keys sir, it's the Price Chopper card.

Customer: Well you accept this one!

Me: No sir, we do not do the A-plus cards.

Customer: I used it here last week!

Me: I am sorry, but it is impossible that you used it last week. I promise you we do not accept it.

Customer: You damn cashiers! I used it here last week! One of you says one thing the other says another! (starts to walk away)

Me: Sir, did you still want your gas?

Customer: YES!

Me: Well, you have to give me twenty bucks then.

Customer: This isn't how you do this. (throws his money on the counter)

It is impossible because our store has NEVER taken A-plus. Sadly, I was the same cashier who helped this guy the week before. He used an advantage card.

You May Need Assisted Living

A customer calls about a purchase they made earlier in the day on some marked down items, luckily I tend to remember my customers and their totals and items. Unfortunately I didn't get the call. My co-worker did and I am watching him become increasingly frustrated before he finally tosses the phone at me.

Me: Hello, this is Amanda, how may I help you?

Customer: Yes, I was in your store earlier and I don't think the cashier knew what she was doing.

Me: Ma'am. I'm the cashier you dealt with, what's the problem?

Customer: Well the girl over charged me. I need to come in and get my money.

Me: Ma'am what did you buy?

Customer: I bought egg nogg.

Me: Okay, ma'am, I did that transaction, and I assure you it was all done correctly.

Customer: Maybe that girl was confused. Do I owe you money? Do I need to come in?

Me: Ma'am, I am the cashier that rang you out. You got two egg noggs at twenty-five cents each. I assure you that everything is fine and you don't need to come in.

Customer: So you owe me money? I can be there in a minute.

Me: No! Ma'am everything is fine. You don't need to come in. The transaction was done correctly.

Customer: So how much was it?

Me: You paid fifty cents plus tax.

Customer: Fifty cents for each?

Me: No, fifty cents for the both of them.

Customer: So how much was it?

Me: Fifty cents plus tax.

Customer: For one of them?

Me: No, for both of them. They were twenty-five cents separately.

Customer: Twenty-five cents for both of them? Then you owe me money.

Me: NO! Ma'am, it was twenty-five cents for one of them. You got two. So at twenty-five cents each it came to fifty cents plus tax for both of them.

Customer: Fifty cents for one of them?

Me: NO! Fifty cents for both of them.

Customer: So I need to come down there? I don't think that girl did it right.

Me: Ma'am. I was the cashier that rung you out. Don't come to the store! Everything is kosher!

Customer: So I don't need to come there?

Me: NO!

Assisted living. Invest. I had many customers staring at me as I was forced to yell. This is the short version. I was on the phone for a half-hour. She still didn't grasp that I was the cashier that rang her out. And continued to talk badly about the cashier that rang her out. Also, I had to spot this lady and her husband some pennies when I got done ringing them out for their egg nogg...